Pointing Painted Finger Nails: Erica judging Mimi on LHHATL

So I recently jumped on the Love and Hip Hop Atlanta band wagon. I know, it contradicts my Black feminist ideals by supporting unhealthy romantic relationships, unhealthy relationships period, between Black people, sexist Black men, Black women tearing each other down etc. However, the show has grown on me and now it is the highlight of my Monday evenings/Tuesdays mornings. (I watch the episodes on YouTube because I work late on Monday evenings.)

For those of you who do not know, LHHATL is a show on VH1 about somewhat famous people in the hip hop industry, their romantic partners, and the drama that comes along with them.

On episode 12 of season 3, “Release Day”, Mimi and her man, Nikko, released their sex tape. In previous episodes, Mimi and Nikko made a sex tape, claimed that the tape was stolen, and a stranger leaked it on the Internet. Some company in the porn industry convinced the couple to give them copyrights so they could make a profit because according to the company, Mimi and Nikko were going to be exposed anyway, so why not make some money? Now of course, Mimi was not thrilled about the situation; she was embarrassed, confused, humiliated, and torn, not only for herself, but for her young daughter, Eva. Now with the intention of being a good mother, she sold the sex tape to the company so she could have money to provide for her daughter.

Fast forward back to episode 12, the cast members of LHHATL are watching the sex tape, including Erica, the baby mama of Scrappy, *starts playing Money in the Bank*, and Ariane, Mimi’s friend. The two do not finish watching the tape because Erica, as a mother, is too disturbed and concerned about how Eva will be affected by this sex tape.  

Feeling that the sex tape was not the most motherly move, Erica states, “I am disgusted...It ain’t even for Mimi cuz you a grown ass woman. You had a choice. It’s for Eva [Mimi’s daughter] cuz she didn’t have one.”

Erica goes on by saying, “This f****** pisses me off. That’s some f***** up, selfish s*** right there...You better talk to her [Mimi] before I do cuz Imma hurt her feelins…”

Hold up. *Inserts hand emoji*   

Erica first off, you not even Mimi’s friend so why would you talk to her? Secondly, you talking about how Eva will be affected by Mimi’s actions, but aren’t you on the SAME reality TV show as Mimi, cursing, getting into arguments at parties because of your friend’s beef with another woman, and dating a broke, pretty boy model that made you pay for almost everything in your relationship to the point where you felt some type of way?

Of course Erica’s actions do not carry the same weight as a sex tape, but Erica’s daughter is going to see her mother acting “ratchet”on the same screen as Eva so why are you judging?

And that’s my problem, women judging other women, especially when it comes to sex.

If you know me, nothing irks me more than someone faulting a woman for her sexual decisions. If you are not eating it, why are you concerned? Even if you are eating, still, sit down.   

One thing that I appreciated my mother teaching me was that as a mother, you have a life prior to having your children and your children have no place to critique, judge, or feel salty about what you have done in the past because that is your life and those were your decisions. So to place all of the weight on Mimi is unfair. Yes, Mimi should be a role model, to not only her daughter, but to women and girls everywhere because she is on TV. But, like Mimi said in the episode, the tape was created so she could do something freaky with her man. What is the crime in that? Now if there was a third party filming, making the leak of the sex tape less “accidental”...

That is for another blog.

Let’s step away from the mommy argument because I do not have children and cannot entirely understand, but I heard as a mother, you are suppose to sacrifice for your children and what not.

From a woman to another woman, I find it a problem for Erica to judge Mimi for an action she did with her body. Who the eff are you?!! We already have men, the government, the media, ALL OF SOCIETY, dictating what we, as women, should and should not do with our bodies. Adding women to the equation makes the situation more complex and counterproductive. I am not saying all women experience the world the same, but you would think that on some universal level that a woman would understand what is it like to have someone control or try to control your body and the hurt that goes behind it.  

Not to mention the historical significance of Black women not having agency over their bodies, specifically during the U.S. antebellum era (1600s-1700s).

I kid. I won’t be that Black feminist/Pro Black person that always relates everything to slavery.    

Seriously, I don’t want to be that cliche, corny, Pro womyn person, but as women we should come together and judge each other less, especially for the things that we have done exactly the same or very similarly in our past.  

Yes, as women, we should be conscious of our actions because EVERYTHING has a consequence both good and bad. However, In the end, our decisions should be based on what we want, without guilt or pressure from anyone. These are OUR lives, OUR bodies, OUR decisions. We are entitled to our mistakes because we are human.

And for the women who judge other women, especially when it comes to sex, slut shaming, etc., before you go pointing your painted finger nails at other women’s p******, remember that...

YOU AIN’T SHIT!

Thanks for reading!

SH